Covey Class 101 – Why Self Change is Important to Happiness
- Filed under: Mindset
- Date: Aug 25,2009
Covey has a nice style. He attacks what he is doing with conviction and does not settle for a half explained theory. I am thoroughly enjoying his book. He explores the 7 habits that he has found successful people utilize.
The self-development industry is massive and always will be. Covey studied 200 years of it’s history and found two things. You can work on the Inner Self and the Outer Self. A lot of guidance ‘out there’ is for external superficial techniques that may work short-term but will fail over time. Let’s talk about you.
The Meaning of Life is to be Happy
Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.
What does he mean by this? By defining happiness to be a constant change towards our set life goals we will constantly be achieving victories. When you achieve a minor task that contributes to these major life goals you will experience a burst of happiness. How could you not? You will not if your life goals are not aligned to your values.
Happiness is the process of achieving the minor victories involved in accomplishing your major life goals.
We cannot achieve this long-term happiness through minor victories towards our major life goals if:
- The life goals set is not aligned to our values
- We do not change our own perspective on the world as we know it
Everything that You Believe is Your Paradigm
Paradigm – it is everything you have witnessed, believe in, learnt and took action upon right until now. Are you at your potential in life right now? No – then you must strive to move your direction in life to that desired life goal.
A paradigm is your full perspective on the world at a given time. During a revelation, your perspective on the world may drastically change. This is the change we want to control, in order to move our life’s into a successful direction.
In order to change our paradigm we must be fully prepared to uproot our life, as painful as it may be, with conviction. Our values must be defined, our desired roles must be defined (father, business manager), an ongoing plan must be created and consistent action over time must be taken.
Start with Your Inside First
If you want to HAVE more freedom in your job:
- BE more responsible
- BE more contributing
- BE more helpful
If you want to HAVE a better relationship with your teenage son:
- BE unconditionally loving
- BE consistent
- BE more empathetic
- BE more understanding
What happens if you start with Outside First?
- You will feel victimised
- You will feel like you have no choice
- You will blame other peoples weaknesses for your stagnant situation
Why You Should Not Change:
- If you want to be unhappy
- If you want poor relationships
- If you do not want to achieve your vision of success in your life
You will encounter a lot of self resistance when you suddenly start changing to a better you. It is important to understand that over time your body and mind establish habits. Also known as muscle memory.
Life sometimes brings us tragedy and setbacks. It is how we respond to those events that determines our destiny. Whilst growing up you may have experienced intense pain. From then on you did not do that again as your brain tries to avoid pain. This avoidance habit has been formed with negative reinforcement. Thus, when the external situation is applied to you again your brain will automatically fulfil this habit. More on this next post. Take care! :)
