What are Habits?

Covey defines habits to be, the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire.

If we consistently work on our habits, the subconscious and consistent mechanisms of our character, we will be able to alter our effectiveness.

Life sometimes brings us tragedy and setbacks. It is how we respond to those events that determines our destiny. Whilst growing up you may have experienced intense pain. From then on you did not do that again as your brain tries to avoid pain. This avoidance habit has been formed with negative reinforcement. Thus, when the external situation is applied to you again your brain will automatically fulfil this habit.

Think of your bad habits you wish to subdue:

Congratulations – You have now recognised what you want to change.

You know you need to be a better listener. You know how to be a better listener. Now you must want to be a better listener.

3 Things That Make Your Habits

1. Knowledge (what to, why to)

2. Skills (how to)

3. Desire (want  to)

So you Want to be a Better Listener

Why? Because your partner gives you grief over never listening to them OR your boss told you to complete a task by a certain time but once again you did not listen.

How? Google how to be a better listener. You will learn about focusing on the speaker, create dot points in your head and breaking out a note pad and scribling important items in short hand. You’ve spent 30 minutes learning – you know how.

Do I want it? Will the pleasure of being a better listener outweigh the pain of self change to get there? Yes – my spouse will be happier, my boss will respect me more and I may get a promotion. More love. More money. These are things I believe line up with my values in life. I want them. I really want them.

So you know why, how and if you want it. Now you sit back prepared for the opportunity to change your bad habit.

Being Prepared to Listen

The next time you speak to your boss focus on his communications with you. Focus. Dot points. Note pad. LISTEN.

The next time you enjoy time with your spouse and he/she talks. Focus. Dot points. LISTEN.

Before you know it you will be a better listener. You would have forged a habit that will become easier and easier the more you practice it. The more you condition yourself everyday with form this habit in your life that will benefit you again and again. You reap what you sow.

Effective Habits are simply habits that are aligned to your internal principles.

You come up with the how to, want to, why to that will make your more effective.

You Can Form your own Habits of Success

Good Luck