Chase your dreams, achieve your goals – but sometimes you need to down shift and learn to appreciate, enjoy and be happy with life.

It is fine to have goals. In fact I have many goals categorized and prioritised. (See mind mapping) However, when our life becomes one big rat race of achieving the next objective without stopping to smell the roses you will burn out.

Self Appraisal

Do you ever get the feeling that if you’re not doing something? Like you are letting yourself down? Jumping from one major goal to the next can also be a self-defence mechanism. Especially if you are unhappy with the your current path in life.
Yes, do not be lazy. Push yourself and be all you can be. But when life seems like all you are doing is fulfilling your daily check list you need to ask yourself “Why?”

Your Life Values

You are not a robot. You are not a machine. You have values. Unless your life is congruent with your life values then you will restless, unhappy or perhaps desperately clutching at straws from day to day in the pursuit of happiness.

My values are family, living comfortably, giving to others. You may want to be rich if you are not already. But realise that the end state of becoming rich is to slowly plan and take small steps of action towards that end state.

Life Goals for Life Monies

So if it takes you 50 years of re-investing your earnings and your dividends to reach that $20 million mark then so be it.

Does this mean for that 50 years you will be constantly disappointed with every small accomplishment you make along that journey? Obviously not, as this is detrimental and the only thing you will achieve is becoming old and bitter.

Memories

The most memorable moments in your life will not be the week when your fortune grew from $19.5M to $20M. It will be the fun times shared with friends along the way!

Heading Up in the World

Pat yourself on your back for the small victories you make in life. You deserve it. The future is unknown and is not guaranteed. Whatever end state you tell yourself you must become be aware that it is not yourself now. Do not feel down, just rest easy at night know that today, I achieved small steps of action towards a better life and day after day you have successfully lived life in the pursuit of happiness.

Enjoying Your Life Journey

1. The things you have done in the past do not define you or measure your self-worth
2. Take a time out and celebrate your successes before moving onto the next goal
3. Accept the past, plan for the future, but live in the now.

What are Habits?

Covey defines habits to be, the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire.

If we consistently work on our habits, the subconscious and consistent mechanisms of our character, we will be able to alter our effectiveness.

Life sometimes brings us tragedy and setbacks. It is how we respond to those events that determines our destiny. Whilst growing up you may have experienced intense pain. From then on you did not do that again as your brain tries to avoid pain. This avoidance habit has been formed with negative reinforcement. Thus, when the external situation is applied to you again your brain will automatically fulfil this habit.

Think of your bad habits you wish to subdue:

Congratulations – You have now recognised what you want to change.

You know you need to be a better listener. You know how to be a better listener. Now you must want to be a better listener.

3 Things That Make Your Habits

1. Knowledge (what to, why to)

2. Skills (how to)

3. Desire (want  to)

So you Want to be a Better Listener

Why? Because your partner gives you grief over never listening to them OR your boss told you to complete a task by a certain time but once again you did not listen.

How? Google how to be a better listener. You will learn about focusing on the speaker, create dot points in your head and breaking out a note pad and scribling important items in short hand. You’ve spent 30 minutes learning – you know how.

Do I want it? Will the pleasure of being a better listener outweigh the pain of self change to get there? Yes – my spouse will be happier, my boss will respect me more and I may get a promotion. More love. More money. These are things I believe line up with my values in life. I want them. I really want them.

So you know why, how and if you want it. Now you sit back prepared for the opportunity to change your bad habit.

Being Prepared to Listen

The next time you speak to your boss focus on his communications with you. Focus. Dot points. Note pad. LISTEN.

The next time you enjoy time with your spouse and he/she talks. Focus. Dot points. LISTEN.

Before you know it you will be a better listener. You would have forged a habit that will become easier and easier the more you practice it. The more you condition yourself everyday with form this habit in your life that will benefit you again and again. You reap what you sow.

Effective Habits are simply habits that are aligned to your internal principles.

You come up with the how to, want to, why to that will make your more effective.

You Can Form your own Habits of Success

Good Luck